Trauma and Bipolar Recovery
Trauma is a dangerous thing. In a fragile or undernourished brain, the stress of big life trauma can crack you and send you reeling into psychosis, paranoia, panic, and terrifying mood swings. Healing the trauma associated with mental illness is the focus of Second Stage healing. (In spite of the anonymity in the telling of this story, I need all of my readers to know that I tell this with express permission from my friend. Owning our experiences and telling ...
Have You Hit Rock Bottom?
I know you are out there. You are the girl who couldn’t get out of bed today. The one who lay in bed until 3pm only to wake for a toilet break and stumble back to the blankets. You ate cold cereal and took a handful of meds and you wondered why you keep trying at all. The meds probably squashed that voice that keeps telling you to end it. You think about your own death once in awhile, but ...
A Happy Family Valentine
Today is Valentine’s Day. I stayed up late last night to decorate a surprise and woke early to put on a breakfast for my husband and children. The excited chatter at the table turned to singing – literally. My children spontaneously broke out in a happy lilting version of a children’s song that I taught them as babies. “As I have loved you… Love one another…” I laughed at nineteen-year-old James, and three sisters; Samantha, Melanie and Meagan, all singing ...
Bipolar, Panic and Anxiety…What is the Difference?
Take a minute to look at the DSM-IV – the manual that your physician used to determine the criteria for your diagnosis. Psychiatric diagnoses are complicated things. That’s why many of our diagnoses have changed over the years. Mine changed from depression to BipolarI, to BipolarI with rapid cycles, to a final and extra comforting label of BipolarI with rapid cycles and schizophrenic tendencies. Did you know that I was so sick – even while diligently following my specialist’s order ...
A Happy Sort of Panic
When I’m back from traveling, I can always count on three things. A mountain of laundry, a big hug from Dana, and at least three days filled with story-telling, excited, and somewhat needy children. When I get back from a trip, I can always count on a visit from my old friend ‘Panic’. This morning, I woke a little later than planned, dressed, grabbed a banana, a swallow of coconut milk, and a dose of the EMPowerplus micronutrient formulation, then ...
Without Medication, I Didn’t Like Reality
Today I ran away with my son. James’ job fell through for the day and my schedule was fantastically flexible, so we jumped in the car and left town. It’s a two-and-a-half hour drive to our favorite quiet spot, away from the everyday, and out of reach of our cell phones. We go there every chance we get–to dream and pray and consider our place in the world. Just before I turned off my phone, a dear friend, sitting in ...
A Child with Anxiety and Obsession
I’m not a doctor. If I were a doctor, a brilliant, healthy little girl would be heavily medicated right now. Obsession is one of the toughest set of symptoms for me to write about. A young girl who holds a very special place in my heart has had a crippling and painful go-round with obsessive thoughts and compulsions. Who we once saw as a worried child quickly turned into a child so wrought with anxiety that it left her vomiting, ...
Raising James
My son is not a problem child. He just needed help. James was sick too. He was diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) when he was three and a half. His doctor said meds were too dangerous at that age, so he told me to wrap my boy up in a restraint when he had ‘fits’. Rolling James in a long carpet like a straightjacket and laying beside him, both of us crying, only happened once. I remember ...
When sanity becomes your new normal
When was the last time you noticed that you are sane? It’s a state of health that is taken for granted too often, but if you are floating around the second stages of healing from depression or bipolar, (or ADD for that matter,) you are likely a lot more appreciative of the luxuries of sanity than most people. Not quite there yet? Still working on the first stages of balancing chemistry and getting control of your health? Then take the ...
Can you really die of embarrassment?
When you use micronutrient formulations like EMPowerplus to balance your mood, you’ll discover that there is no magic pill effect. No sedation, no warm fuzzy feelings in your face or chest. (There are also no side effects worth mentioning either.) After days or weeks or months, once the old medications are safely eliminated, you are left with only yourself, a predictable mood, and some crystal clear memories of where you have been and what you did during the course of ...
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